What do you call it when the guy says "yes" but you say "no"?

I don't like calling myself "victim" or "survivor".

I never felt that it was "that bad".

Because maybe it was my fault. Did I say "no" enough times? Like if it was needed. Like if one time was not enough.
Should I have resisted more? Should I have yelled at him? 
Maybe you should not invite guys over. Maybe I brought it to myself.

And I hate it. I hate not knowing how to "label" it. When I said no, but he said yes.
Because "it will make you feel good". Because he wanted it. Because he said all those "pretty things" that I did not believe.

And I felt disgusted. And I just waited for my friend to show up. Because maybe like that he would have left.
But I was left alone, with him. I invited him, anyway. What else would you expect, Luce? He wanted to fuck. Did you think he wanted to come over to chat?

And I kept trying to stay away. Trying to watch TV, to talk. Because I already said no. Wasn't I clear enough?

But did you push him away? Did he force himself? What you are talking about isn't even rape.
Maybe you were too inviting. 

I don't talk about this, because I don't like drawing attention to myself.
Because I don't want to be the "victim". And I sure as hell don't feel like a survivor.

I don't mention it, but it triggers me when they say "it's her fault for not speaking up". Because when girls DO speak up,  they are blamed, labeled: Broken, liars, attention-whores.
I don't speak about what happened to me, but I end up crying for hours, with anxiety, because I hear my friends say "it's her fault for not saying anything before". "It's her fault for not reporting"

Last time it happened at work. I told one friend that a taxi driver's conversation was inappropriate, she told me it was my fault for not speaking up.
How can I speak up if I'm not strong enough for facing it? Not strong enough for even being able to admit to myself that I'm not the "Supergirl" I think I am?

When I told another guy that I said no, he said "Oh", and changed the subject.
Because no one likes to deal with that. No one likes actually knowing a victim.

So I don't know how to call it when he said "yes" and I said "no".
Because I did not kick him out of my house.
I just thought, after several times of saying "no", that maybe it would end fast.
But I never changed my mind.